Insecurities-Genesis 1:26-27

My biggest insecurity used to be my squinty eyes. Now I love them. Read more below!

In my most recent Bible Study, I was directed to study and reflect on Genesis 1:26-27 (NIV).

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

If God made us in his his image, we are reflections of God's glory. This gives us the ability to reflect the character of God through our love, patience, forgiveness, kindness and faithfulness.

This verse, however, became more to me than just how I came to be the more that I carried it with me during my day.

If we are made in God's image and are meant to represent his love and other qualities, are we downgrading him if we criticize ourselves? If I walk around thinking that I'm ugly or that I'm not smart enough, is that me saying that God's glory isn't perfect either? God CHOSE us to reflect his glory and that in itself should give us a strong sense of self worth.

This self worth allows us to love God, become closer to him, and continue to spread his glory to others. God blessed us with these abilities.

Isn't there a saying that 'you can't love somebody else until you love yourself.' Well if I don't love myself, I can't truly love God and what he has blessed me with.

This reflection has showed me that it is time to learn how to love myself. I'm learning to throw the insecurities out the window, love the muffin around my hip, adore my lack of direction and keep myself tagged in those not-so-flattering Facebook pictures. With less time spent worrying about my insecurities, I have been able to slow down, enjoy my time with myself, and appreciate the smaller blessings I didn't see before.

This reflection has led me to the commitment of using this mantra daily: I love myself because the Lord loves me.

YouVersion

Recently, I've been trying to find a good Bible study plan to help me continue to grow in my faith. After googling about it, however, I found that many of the ones online either cost money or aren't what I'm looking for. My wish was granted, however, when I came across a website called You Version.

You Version is free website, only requiring an email for membership, that allows you to explore several pre-made Bible reading plans. These plans can consist of one days worth of reading to a year long plan. Each plan is broken down into days; giving you one or a few verses each day to read and reflect on. You can keep track of your progress directly on the website. There is even a "catch up button" if you fall behind!

After continuing to explore the website, I found that you can create notes on your readings (choosing to make them public or private) as well as read other people's reflections on passages. You can 'follow' these users and be notified when they post new reflections and you can have followers as well (twitter much).

You can choose the Bible version that you're reading, pull up books on the website and converse with people using the same version as yourself! You can tweet and forward things to Facebook as well!

Let me know if you use YouVersion as well, or if you check it out! 

What's In Your Fridge?

How cute is this fridge?!

In a rush to make dinner and don't have time to go to the grocery store? Did an unexpected snow storm trap you in your house?

I came across a website the other day that I thought a lot of you guys could appreciate!

It is called 'My Fridge Food.' You simply check off the items that you have in your kitchen, and it provides you with easy recipes that you can make with what you have laying around!

It gives you SO MANY OPTIONS, so you are able to register for an account and save your ingredients for next time you use it! This is all absolutely free!

Check it out! Just click the image below!

When Praises Cease and Seasons Change

My sisters and I dedicating our time for the cause at Relay for Life!

"Whatever you are doing, whether you speak or act, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

As most of you know, religion is pretty new to me. Back in December, I accepted Christ and became an active follower of God that found joy in walking with Him daily. As of recently, I'm ashamed to say, I've lost that.

I don't know if it was joining a sorority and being scared of being judged, the stressful schedule that came along with changing my major, or the health issues that arose, that caused my Faith to slowly dwindle down to only praying during desperate times.

Recent events, however, have made me realize how unfulfilled my life is everyday without acknowledging God and appreciating the life He has given me. Relay for Life was a gentle reminder about how truly lucky I am to be here and has brought me to appreciate the small things on a daily basis.


The loving relationship I've recently developed with my parents gave me more to live for. The encouraging friends that I have found in my sorority have given me a reason to believe that not everybody is mean. The rut that I was in with Bryson is now over. Why am I not happy?

The answer: I have lost Christ.

"I will not take my love away, when praises cease and seasons change. The whole world turns the other way but I will not take my love away."

God, I know that you can give me what I need to live a fulfilling and morally righteous lifestyle. I promise myself to you once again (sorry for being led astray).

Prayers and Pancakes

HAVE YOU ENTERED MY CSN GIVEAWAY!?

February 6th is the last day to enter!

I haven't posted in awhile, and while my first reaction is to apologize to you, the truth is that I'm genuinely upset. Writing is a release for me and I could have relieved a lot of stress in doing so. My excuse? College and the flu. Yuck. I will apologize,however, for not responding to all of your guys' emails. I promise to catch up on that this weekend.

Out of all the numerous things that happened over the last couple of days, I wanted to write about an event that I went to on Sunday for my Campus Outreach group. Please understand that it is hard for me to write about this. The experience was overwhelming, and I can't exactly grasp how I felt about it. I just wanted to share it with you.

The title was pretty catchy: "Prayers and Pancakes." I assumed it would be casual prayer and then a group dinner consisting of pancakes, naturally, right? It was much more intense than I expected it to be, and quite frankly, I wasn't prepared.

Everybody sat down in a circle and bowed to pray. One of the leaders, Chip, started off by asking us to pray to God to forgive our sins for 2 minutes in silence. "Alright, I got this down," I thought. After those two minutes were up, he asked us to continue to close our eyes and bow our head, but to confess our sins out loud. Panic attack slowly crept in. Slowly, one by one, people around the circle started to recall their sins. They were all much more philosophical and spiritual than my trivial confessions were, and I instantly felt an overwhelming amount of grief.

I wasn't the only one. As I peeked up (which yes, I felt guilty about doing), people were wiping tears from their eyes and sniffling their noses. We continued to do this with prayers for other Christian groups, other countries, etc.

The atmosphere made me start to cry as well. The amount of love and desire for God overwhelmed the room and made me realize how much work still needs to be done for me.

God, please forgive, for I have doubted you and your love for me. Thank you for staying with me when praises cease. Bless me with the ability to live through your word.

Learning to Live on the Rock

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7

If I told you that I'm one hundred percent confident in my relationship with God, I'd be a liar. If I told you that God has made me do a complete one eighty, I'd be a liar. If I told you that there aren't moment that I doubt Him, I'd be a liar. Learning to walk with God on a daily basis takes time. I have my moments.

Recently, I had to take my name off of the lease that I signed for my apartment. Long story short, I got a couple of knives thrown in my back for what feels like the hundredth time. Once again, I felt my faith shake beneath my feet. It wasn't because I lost my living situation for sophomore year, but because once again, somebody that I cared for left me to hang. The more that people hurt me, the lower my self esteem goes, and the more I start to feel a form of depression creep up. Sometimes it feels like people genuinely don't care.

Today, I have found peace in a verse that my Bible study leader sent to me upon hearing what happened:

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." -Matthew 7:24

Today I learned that people and worldly pleasures are like sand in a storm. If you build your house upon the sand, it will slip out from underneath you when it rains. If you build your house upon a rock instead, your house will stay intact. God is our rock and we need to build our faith and dependency upon Him.

Don't get me wrong. If somebody is in your life for the long haul then you are truly blessed! It is wonderful to find love. It is never bad, however, to have something that is undeniably permanent; God's love.

Are you living on the rock or the sand?

"Elise, a fulfilled Child of the one true God."

For some odd reason that I have no explanation for, I have had the hardest time falling asleep lately. Thoughts whizz through my head right when it hits the pillow and I lie awake for hours. I don't know if its from coming off my medications after surgery, stress, too much sugar during the day, or any of the other several things that it could be. Bottom line: I can't sleep.

I try to read a novel, do some homework, watch television and to no avail, I can't fall asleep.

One trick that has started to work, since my spiritual journey, is reading His word during my insomnia spells. There is something so reassuring and heart filling about His word that I can calm myself down enough to sleep and refresh my soul for the upcoming day.

Tonight (or should I say this morning) I wanted to post a little bit about the reflections I had while reading the first chapter of Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl.

I have been lost so many times in my life. Whether it was with family struggles, high school drama, health issues or mental breakdowns, I have felt the pressure to be somebody I'm not and put on a face for everybody else. One day I would be confident in myself and the next it felt like my heart was being ripped at the seam. I built up every flaw that I could think of in my head and I told myself that I wasn't good enough. Everything in my life was viewed through this harsh film.

When I finally couldn't stand on my own two feet anymore, I hesitantly turned to the unfamiliar idea of religion and begged for some kind of miracle to be worked upon me. Time after time, however, religion failed me. I didn't have the right concept of it in my head. As it turns out, you need to live the word...and not just quote it. I was trying to have religion, when all along, what I really needed was a relationship with God.

After so many struggles since, I find myself, a freshman in college, with the deepest desire being to love God and 'let his love work through me to positively impact myself and those around me.' I have taken a step toward God toward the light and the truth. I have taken a step toward becoming, "Elise, a fulfilled Child of the one true God."

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:12-13

In order to seek God with all my heart, however, I have grown up and realized that it isn't about having a good Christian checklist or practicing the Ten Commandments everyday. It is about finding truer fulfillment in this world and setting your mind on those things instead of earthly desires. You have to want to see, hear, and know God, so that you can follow hard after Him everyday.

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "-Jeremiah 29:11

I haven't gotten that far into learning about Him yet (hence me not being able to form perfect words for what I'm experiencing), but I am glad that I am able to find such peace and comfort in what I do know so far.

About My Faith

After talking to Katie, I've decided that it is time to face my biggest fear. All my life, there has been a gaping hole in my chest. A feeling of worthlessness and loneliness. I have hit my limit, and it is time for me to fill my hole. I need to find my faith.

One of the main struggles that I have, however, is learning more about God and His word. As trivial as this may sound, I always feel that I am too old to learn about Him, that I should have learned when I was younger, and that I'm not worthy of His love. I understand that all of those are false feelings, but sometimes it is hard for me to shake things.

I grew up in a religious family until they stopped attending the Catholic Church when I was in third grade. At that age in my life, I wasn't exactly listening to the sermon, but just wanted to get out. For awhile I didn't care much for religion, until I hit my health and family problems in sixth grade, and realized that I needed to find God to help me. I didn't have anybody else.

I tried. I failed. I tried again. I went to church with friends, tried to study the Bible, reached out to people for help, and found myself where I started. I have had a constant battle with my faith.

It isn't because I don't believe in God. I do. It isn't because I dread going to church. I don't. I guess through all of the struggles that I've been through, I sometimes find it hard to believe that there truly is somebody looking out for me. I've had a lot of time to reflect about it, however, and deep down I do know that He is there. It is a matter, however, of me letting him in and realizing that I don't have enough knowledge to completely control my life. I need guidance. I can't push God away anymore.

So this blog entry is me asking God for forgiveness and understanding, leaving a huge gap of life, and signing the bottom of the page, allowing him to fill in the middle for me.

PS- I'd like to use this blog to document my spiritual journey. Maybe if I post here about what I learn from Him, you guys can help me out with your thoughts and advice.

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.- Romans 10:13