Prayers and Pancakes

February 6th is the last day to enter!
I haven't posted in awhile, and while my first reaction is to apologize to you, the truth is that I'm genuinely upset. Writing is a release for me and I could have relieved a lot of stress in doing so. My excuse? College and the flu. Yuck. I will apologize,however, for not responding to all of your guys' emails. I promise to catch up on that this weekend.

Out of all the numerous things that happened over the last couple of days, I wanted to write about an event that I went to on Sunday for my Campus Outreach group. Please understand that it is hard for me to write about this. The experience was overwhelming, and I can't exactly grasp how I felt about it. I just wanted to share it with you.

The title was pretty catchy: "Prayers and Pancakes." I assumed it would be casual prayer and then a group dinner consisting of pancakes, naturally, right? It was much more intense than I expected it to be, and quite frankly, I wasn't prepared.

Everybody sat down in a circle and bowed to pray. One of the leaders, Chip, started off by asking us to pray to God to forgive our sins for 2 minutes in silence. "Alright, I got this down," I thought. After those two minutes were up, he asked us to continue to close our eyes and bow our head, but to confess our sins out loud. Panic attack slowly crept in. Slowly, one by one, people around the circle started to recall their sins. They were all much more philosophical and spiritual than my trivial confessions were, and I instantly felt an overwhelming amount of grief.

I wasn't the only one. As I peeked up (which yes, I felt guilty about doing), people were wiping tears from their eyes and sniffling their noses. We continued to do this with prayers for other Christian groups, other countries, etc.

The atmosphere made me start to cry as well. The amount of love and desire for God overwhelmed the room and made me realize how much work still needs to be done for me.

God, please forgive, for I have doubted you and your love for me. Thank you for staying with me when praises cease. Bless me with the ability to live through your word.

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