About My Faith

After talking to Katie, I've decided that it is time to face my biggest fear. All my life, there has been a gaping hole in my chest. A feeling of worthlessness and loneliness. I have hit my limit, and it is time for me to fill my hole. I need to find my faith.

One of the main struggles that I have, however, is learning more about God and His word. As trivial as this may sound, I always feel that I am too old to learn about Him, that I should have learned when I was younger, and that I'm not worthy of His love. I understand that all of those are false feelings, but sometimes it is hard for me to shake things.

I grew up in a religious family until they stopped attending the Catholic Church when I was in third grade. At that age in my life, I wasn't exactly listening to the sermon, but just wanted to get out. For awhile I didn't care much for religion, until I hit my health and family problems in sixth grade, and realized that I needed to find God to help me. I didn't have anybody else.

I tried. I failed. I tried again. I went to church with friends, tried to study the Bible, reached out to people for help, and found myself where I started. I have had a constant battle with my faith.

It isn't because I don't believe in God. I do. It isn't because I dread going to church. I don't. I guess through all of the struggles that I've been through, I sometimes find it hard to believe that there truly is somebody looking out for me. I've had a lot of time to reflect about it, however, and deep down I do know that He is there. It is a matter, however, of me letting him in and realizing that I don't have enough knowledge to completely control my life. I need guidance. I can't push God away anymore.

So this blog entry is me asking God for forgiveness and understanding, leaving a huge gap of life, and signing the bottom of the page, allowing him to fill in the middle for me.

PS- I'd like to use this blog to document my spiritual journey. Maybe if I post here about what I learn from Him, you guys can help me out with your thoughts and advice.

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.- Romans 10:13


  1. This is a great post, Elise. Whenever you are doubting that He cares for you remember those verses I gave you. Also, read Luke 23 (especially verses 39-43) when you can.

    When he forgives you he wipes your sin as far as the east is from the west. He no longer remembers your sins. Try to always look ahead!!

    "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"- 2 Corinthians 5:17

  2. What a BEAUTIFUL post! Thank you for being so bold as to share it with all of us. I loved how you signed and said that He will fill the middle in and He will do just that. He will bless you in ways you never thought possible once you surrender your life to Him. We were never meant to be in control, it was never His plan...

    One of my favorite verses that I have clung to recently that I learned at my last bible study is Ephesians 3:20-21 which says:

    Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

    Oh Sweetie, grab hold of that truth, claim it... His power is at work within YOU right now... Give Him glory for that.

    Can't wait to follow your blog.

    PS~ I am a friend of Katie's. :)

  3. @Katie- Thank you so much for your encouraging words! I have to respond to your email when I get back from dinner, but please do NOT apologize for giving me your words of wisdom! I want them and appreciate them greatly! I'm also very excited to "look ahead." You're right. The only person that I should be looking to please is Him, and that there is no reason looking back at what He has already forgiven me for!

  4. @Misty- Thank you so much for checking out my blog! I'm hoping to get SOME sort of a close knit following so that I can receive more beautiful advice such as yours! I'm glad you liked my "signing off." I was doing it metaphorically, but what if I actually did it on a real piece of paper and framed it on my desk as a daily reminder? Hm. I will consider that! Thank you for your words of wisdom! I can never get enough of them. All of the verses that you guys share with me go right into my journal with a small reflection so that I can reread them in times of doubt.

    Thank you for your support Misty!